Navigating the Abyss
Sue was 4 when her parents found she had leukemia. It was a rare type not usually successful in treatment.
Sue was blonde and very cute with large light blue eyes.
I first saw her on a Pediatric ward screaming and crying. If anyone approached the high barred crib she was in she would start screaming and crying. She screamed and crawled into the farthest corned, huddled, shaking from fear. The smell of urine was strong.
The nurses clustered around me apologizing for asking me to see her. They felt they had failed in calming Sue. I knew they were compassionate and loving nurses. They had to be especially strong emotionally as this was a ward for kids who had terminal illnesses.
The nurses told me that initially Sue was pretty much like the 4 year olds that had been admitted. But, the previous night Sue’s mother visited and spent a long time hugging and talking to Sue. The next morning she started her uncontrollable fear at the approach of any staff member. The nurses didn’t know what the mother said to Sue the previous night and the morning report did not mention anything unusual. They were afraid to call the mother for they felt the mother might blame them. They had already assumed they were at fault.
I arranged to see the mother that afternoon. Sue’s mother was in her mid 20’s and Sue was her only child. The mother’s name was Jane.
I explained that Jane was asked to see me to help treat Sue. When I said that she replied: “Oh, no. No one but Sue can help her. Nurses and doctors can’t help her. She has leukemia because of her thoughts. She thinks she is sick and that is why she has the leukemia.”
I asked her if this is what she told Sue. She said she had the previous night when visiting Sue.
After the mother had spoken to Sue and said the little pill she had in her hand was OK to take I was able to talk to Sue and find out what Sue thought.
Sue now thought that the Nurses and the Doctors were making her sick because they only dealt with sick people. Sue said she didn’t want to die.
Jane and her husband had entered the Abyss.
We use other words, such as stressors, or depression or trauma to attempt to handle the effects of entering the Abyss. The very threat of losing a child is a large opening into the Abyss. Jane and her husband were plunged into the Abyss when they learned of Sue’s illness. They were reaching out for anything to give them hope. They did not intend to terrify Sue.
Sue died within two weeks. Within 6 months they were divorced. Jane flung herself into visiting bards and sleeping with various men. Her husband lost his job because of excessive drinking. They had been plunged into the Abyss and one of the characteristics of the Abyss is dangerous choices.
What is the Abyss?
The Abyss is a state of an individual that has certain characteristics. The first of these is Despair. The person feels there is no hope. It is a pit, black and without any bottom. It is filled with terror, anguish, fear, rejection, isolation, misery and pain. The pain is real and has an insidious manner of stealth. It creeps inside, hiding and slowly building until there is no escape.
The Abyss happens in almost everyone’s life. It is rare that some person will make their way from birth to death without encountering the Abyss. There are innumerable openings into the Pit. In the case of Sue and her parents we have a vivid and all too common and example. We hear of horrid tales such as the young pregnant mother who is strangled and her baby cut out of her and taken. We actually see the beheadings of innocent people. Terrorists want to plunge others into the Pit.
This is a book about finding your way out of the Abyss, the Pit. In order to understand the navigation points we need first to understand how you are made.
How you are Made
You have been created. The act of creation began in your mother’s body. Yet, if we look into this further we see that you are also created by a cell of your father.
In fact your mother has been creating about 28 days, That is the visible result of her creation came about when she ovulated. But, even before that ovum is released we can see continued acts of creation taking place inside your mother’s ovary.
Examining the creation of each ovum we find that your mother’s body is contributing nutrients from her own cells to make that ovum. Exploring the act of creation from this viewpoint we can see that your mother was created and as she lived cells were grown, replaced, renewed, so the creation process is continual. It does not have an explicit stopping point. Of course it does stop when an individual dies. But, it is also true that cells die all through creation. Death is a continual fact in your life.
As you read this you are engaging in an act of creation. When you read, signals are sent along your optic nerve to your brain and there synapses fire and images and concepts are formed.
The same process happens to your father except his production of spermatozoa, those special cells aimed at forming another individual, continue throughout his biologic lifetime.
The most important point to observe is that creation is a continual process.
Accepting the evidence that as humans we came from an earlier form of human and then extending that back to the very beginning of life we can observe, at least in our mind’s eye, that continual process of creation. The created life forms that we know of are marvelously varied in form and function. We marvel at this wonderful display of creativity.
But, we go back to the beginning we have to ask: Where did the first two cells come from? How did they form? What were the conditions necessary for them to begin to multiply? At present we do not know. But, we can be assured that we will seek the answer to that question and probably be able to create living cells from non living chemicals.
Here we have to see what does distinguish us from the rest of the animal kingdom.
The answer is Consciousness. But, we know that our dogs are conscious, as are other creatures. Actually we, as man, are a special form of consciousness.
This special consciousness is the knowledge that we will die. Virtually every person knows this and is often said to be the stimulus for religious belief.